Crazy Feminist? Um, No.

I was having an over-priced lunch with an old friend yesterday. She's getting married in the spring and we were discussing many wedding-related things. After talking about locations, dresses, and colours, I asked a what I thought was a normal question.

Me: So are you going to change your name?
My friend: (scoffs) Yes, I'm not a crazy feminist. I believe in marriage.

Me: Oh, ok. (returns to eating expensive pizza)

My dear friend is fairly traditional, obviously, but I didn't think that changing your name was all about feminism anymore. Some women don't change their name because of their career, for family reasons, or because it's simply a pain in the ass. So I ran a little poll. I asked my mom, who's pretty traditional, and she thought it was a logical question to ask and not at all offensive. I asked my best friend, and her mom -- neither of them were surprised either, my dad said the same thing. Then the real test. I asked my brother's fiance if she was going to change her name, she is, and had no problem with my question.
Needless to say, this exchange with my friend made me hesitant to ask questions that would be cause for a similar reaction. When we discussed kids I didn't dare ask if she would return to work.
I'm still quite taken aback by this conversation. And I wonder if she really thinks that every woman who doesn't change her name is a crazy feminist who doesn't believe in marriage. For the record I will not change my name, I would consider a hyphenate but only if it sounded right. This doesn't mean I don't believe in marriage, it means that my entire career is based on my name so it would screw things up to change it. But I don't have to explain that to most people now do I.
This March wedding will be interesting, I'm sure to be that hethen feminist from Ontario, then I'll have to explain I'm not from Ontario. Have I ever written the rant about how I'm sick of justifying all my life choices?